My gut instinct told me not to do it.
"It's dangerous", a nagging voice kept pulling me back.
But something even stronger pushed me, as if a wave of wind suddenly gave me the courage to take up this task that should seem so simple to women in other countries, or in other social classes. So I started walking towards the bridge.
Lately I have begun to admire sunsets more that ever before. If I could, I think i would stop my car in the middle of the highway to apreciate it all the time, but most of the time I don't. This time, i decided, I would not let anything stop me. After all, i had just decided to become as independent from men as I could. (No thing personal, guys haha... i promise)
I answered my cellphone, which began to ring at the least appropriate time, threatening to cut my courageous trip to the top of the bridge to admire the sunset short. It was my dad. I answered quickly, trying to ignore the stares of men around me. Sometimes i think i imagine they are looking at me, but other times I could swear this is the only reason they are staying there: just to stand and watch as a girl pases by them. I guess I will never know...
We hung up and the thought crossed my mind if i get killed, at least my dad knows I was in search of something i really like. Of course, this was me going to worst-case scenarios. But this is what taboos are all about, right? Building exageranted mental images of things that are not common to us... (Obviously not from a technical, psychologist, politically correct point of view)
The air was chilly for this time of year. It was the third cold front of the year, the news repoted, although it was only the beggining of february in the country of Eternal Spring. I zipped up my jacket, i was coming from the gym and had my hair up in a pony tail. My hair bounced as I jumped up the stairs to my final destination. When i got there, the view was perfect. Pink, yellow, and red seemed to mix in the air, making the perfect combination. I glazed over at random passerbyers, in awe that they could just continúe walking without stopping, even for a few seconds to take in this image. I turned to take it in for all those people who were rushing to go home and meet their families. I was in no hurry.
Unfortunately, the sun was not as available as I was and rapidly continued to creep in behind the volcanoes, leaving brushes of different colors on the sky as if it had been careleslly painted by some not-yet-discovered michelangelo after a long but perfect day.
The cold wind reminded me it was probably time to go, as the night was already claiming territory in every corner of the bridge. I walked back, happily making it down the steps. Some men were coming up, but they just glanced over at me and continued up their journey. I started to think it was me whofelt uncomfortable in my own skin, being afraid of things I was taught should scare me...
I was careful not to walk too close to any random person on the sidewalk, or what tried to represent one, at least. I got back to where i had parked my car and took in one last glimpse of the fading hues of pink and orange. I was very glad i had found the courage.
This is me and my journey to, step by step and day by day, walk toward a more independent way of life. For a very long time, i believed and wished that the person who would be my partner in crime for life, my daily companion would gratefully volunteer to do such things as keep my car in a good state, as I had no plans of learning to understand cars and their complexity. But life had a different idea.
Out of experiences that led to other experiences, i changed. I still don't understand cars, but I'm working on it.
This is my story and this is my road to emancipation. Hopefully, along it, I will also find out the correct wording for the type of independence I am seeking. Emancipation is, in this moment, only the most fitting word i could copy and paste out of a very good friend of mine's advice when i was breaking off a dependent relationship. I didn't understand the meaning then and i don't yet, but i guess this will make the experience even more eye-opening for me...
It is mostly me talking and trying to figure things out as they come, but if you can enjoy it as much as i think I will, i would be more than pleased!
Any comments or advice is more than welcome!
